He was an older, boring man, totally devoid of drive or excitement who led a humdrum existence interrupted only slightly by a stray tomcat who, every once in a while, would jump up upon the hood of his 26-year-old General Motors coupe and relieve himself as the man watched from his window. His was a life of listlessness and tedium and trivial pursuits. The highlight of his week was taking out the trash on Tuesday morning. He had no job, nor did he covet one. He needed no one and he needed little to live on. The days droned on monotonously as he pondered upon what would happen to disturb this dreary routine housed in a low-rent shack in a small town in the mountains of south-central Idaho on a Monday in April—in the rain. Then, she arrived at his door.
On the ruse of a census-taking assignment, she interrogated him endlessly, asking one banal question after another. Then, she moved on, telling him the long, arduous, unrelenting story of her life. Soon, a warm, pasty glow came over him as he cringed at the sound of her endless prattle. She never stopped talking for over an hour, her tales leaving him weeping with tears of dry dullness. "This woman could be the dullest human being I have ever met," he thought. "I think I'm feeling something."
He invited her in to have lunch but she insisted that she cook for him.
"The broccoli will be ready in about an hour!"
He couldn't believe it. Her dreary announcement actually provoked a slight sense of motivation within him.
"Have you seen the owls this year?"
He thought he would go mad. She was really dull and her monotonous, tedious drone was really starting to turn him on.
"Maybe I could mix this broccoli with your lentil soup—it might be good."
"Oh my God, she's an utter disaster. I'm feeling warm!"
"You know, if you would take the trash out on Monday night, then you wouldn't have to get up so early on Tuesday!"
"Genius!" he cried inwardly while sinking to the floor writhing in sweat. "She's as bland as her cooking. I love her!"
Soon, they married and moved to a farmhouse in Caldwell to live a simple life together. Bored? I think not. It happened here ... in Idaho ... on a Monday in April ... in the rain.
Nice talking to you.
