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For the week of Mar. 8 through Mar. 14, 2000

Our tax cut

While the Idaho Legislature’s been stewing about a $40 million tax cut from the state’s "surplus," we’ve been dreaming about how to spend our share.

Oh, the places we’ll go and the things we’ll see! The $55 to $75 we’ll receive as an average Idahoan will take our gas hog about 300 miles—less with a stop at the greaseburger joint.

"No guilt" will be our motto as we take off on a road trip.

When we pass one of the state’s crumbling schools, we’ll be secure in the knowledge that forcing kids to organize a few more bake sales will build character and teach kids the value of a buck. Besides, how bad can asbestos from old crumbling ceiling tiles really be?

Even better, forcing kids to build sewage collection systems at a young age will give them solid grounding in math, chemistry and engineering—and keep them off the street.

When we zoom past panhandlers who are talking to no one in particular we won’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt about Idaho’s abysmal lack of services for the mentally ill. We will rest firm in the belief that being cuckoo has nothing to do with brain chemistry and certainly has nothing to do with us. We will think, "The slackers would be fine if they’d just get a job."

When we drive Idaho’s highways, we’ll ignore those little white crosses scattered here and there. Instead of thinking the state ought to install guard rails to keep cars from plunging over steep banks, we’ll drift to higher intellectual planes and remember Darwin and his theories. "Won’t happen to us," we’ll say.

We just can’t wait to get that tax cut. We’ll be looking for the check in the mail.


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