Kevin (Butch, Bone and Gentle Bear) Ernest Boender was born on Feb. 23, 1957, in Castro Valley, Calif., to parents Kathleen Spence and Keith Boender. He departed this earth on Sept. 2, 2014.
Kevin is survived by his loving girlfriend and “Partner in Crime” Kelly Cole. He is remembered fondly by ex-spouses and friends Linda Ross and Kristine Boender. He has three surviving children: two sons Tony (Krista) Chaves and Beau Boender, and his daughter Danika Boender (Tom) Kirkwood. He also has five grandchildren: Thomas and Hailey Kirkwood, Trinity and Addyson Boender, and Josslyn Tye Hall.
Kevin is also survived by his mother Kathleen Spence and husband George; his father Keith Boender and wife Sandy; sisters Linda (John) Carmody and Dione (Brad) Smith; his stepsister Stephanie (Rich) Marquis; and stepbrothers Richard (Mary) Webb, Jon (Arlene) Spence, Robert (Trish) Spence and Jim (Shari) Spence.
Kevin is preceded in death by brother “Baby” Keith Boender; daughter Terri Chaves; stepbrother Andrew Webb; and stepson Ryan Hollinger.
Kevin moved quite a bit in his life, but it all started in Castro Valley, Calif. He moved from California to Washington to Idaho and back again, making friends all along the way. Seattle was his home at the young age of 1. Here his father Keith taught at the Greater Seattle Ski School on Snoqualmie Pass. Kevin not only learned to ski here, he learned to ski quicker and better than most adults. He thrived there and made many friends, some that he still had at the end of his life. On one occasion, Kevin crashed badly while skiing and broke numerous bones. This led to a full body cast that he had to endure for months. Surprisingly enough, that never dampened his love for skiing, not even skiing fast.
Through all of Kevin’s childhood he was in a team of three. Older sisters Linda and Dione were his teammates. But to them he was, and always will be, Butch. Both of their parents worked, so many times the girls found themselves not only their baby brother’s playmates but also part time “moms,” especially Linda. I am sure they had their fights, and man those must have been a thing to behold. The love and special bond they forged at that time endured until Kevin’s death and will be there until they meet again.
Kevin had many interests in life, leading to many different careers—firefighter to real estate, police officer to construction. The profession that had the most impact on others was as a drug and alcohol counselor. It was something that was very near and dear to his heart. This profession came later in Kevin’s life.
Kevin and his first wife Linda married in 1976. They were married 15 years. They raised their four children in both Ketchum but mostly Hailey, Idaho. In 1989, Linda and Kevin lost their oldest daughter, Terri, at the age of 18. After many tries to mend their marriage, they divorced.
Around this same time, Kevin became clean and sober. He attended college and received a degree in drug and alcohol counseling. He then began his career at the Walker Center in Gooding, Idaho. Kevin met his wife Kristine about this time in his life. They both had a love for helping others who were struggling with addiction, being that they could both empathize.
Kristine had a son, Ryan, who Kevin came to love as his own. When Ryan died at the age of 19, he grieved the loss of another child alongside Kristine.
When others may have lost their drive and zeal for life, Kevin somehow found strength and pushed on. He and Kristine started working in Hailey, Idaho. It was at this time and with his program, Project Respect, that Kevin found his true gift, helping troubled youth. He truly loved this job—he told me on many occasions how he was doing things he never thought he could. He had a great fear of speaking in front of crowds, especially a crowd full of teens. But when he got up there and started talking and seeing them pay attention and relating to him, his fears went away. It was often a very painful job, when a troubled teen he had come to know and love couldn’t take the pressure and would relapse. Or the worst-case scenario when they would somehow meet their own demise, and Kevin would feel the loss of another loved one.
Kevin wore many hats in his too-short but powerful life. But the one he wore the best was as a father. Sure, he tripped and stumbled along the way, and man did he beat himself up for it. But ask anyone who knew him and they always knew without a doubt that he adored his kids! The beauty of this is that his kids knew this very well and adored him just as much.
If anything came close to the love of his kids it was the love for his amazing Mom. Kathleen Spence was the constant in Kevin’s life. No matter where or what the two of them were doing, they were never far apart. I believe his loss will be felt the deepest by her. If you have ever met Kathy, you will know exactly where Kevin got so much of his love and caring from.
A Celebration of Life will be held in Kevin’s honor on Oct. 4, from 12-4:30 p.m. at the Sagebrush Arena, 100 Let ’er Buck Road, in Hailey, Idaho. The family is requesting that in lieu of flowers donations be made in Kevin’s name to The Wood River Valley Toy Run.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints in our heart, and we are never ever the same. Sleep with the angels, Dad.
