Friday, June 1, 2012

Slogans That Don’t Work For Me

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By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

It's a lovely first day of June. There's seven months left in the year and there's plenty to think about. My thoughts? I think there are a lot of slogans for companies out there that just flat-out don't work for me. As an example, let's take Les Schwab's motto of "Doing the right thing since 1952." Now, I believe that this is a good company and that they sell great tires. As a matter of fact, I bought four of them three and-a-half years ago and they're still in fine shape. But that slogan makes me think, "What was going on in 1951? Were they doing the wrong things before and finally corrected their operation in 1952?" What's the story?

How about, "Selling the best BBQs for 29 years!" Does that mean that Warming Trend of Idaho sold mediocre BBQs prior to 1983 and is finally coming clean to the community? Surely, not the case, but that's what it implies to me.

"Quality and value since 1956," says Atkinsons'. This is one of the best businesses in the valley and it is where I always buy my groceries, but it leads me to believe that in 1955 and earlier, their goods were sub par and had no value whatsoever.

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How about Cox and their claim, "One call and you can have it all." Well, all to me means love, good health, total medical care, a huge mansion in Sun Valley and a right (driver's side) door handle for my 1984 Coupe De Ville Cadillac. If that's the case, I'm callin' them.

Sure, I can get easily confused, but you have to be clear when you're addressing me.

Nice talking to you

Mr. Millspaugh lives in a log cabin and stays there.

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