Friday, February 10, 2012

Gift ideas for the romantics


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

I've always considered myself a romantic type of guy. That's why I get almost giddy this time of the year because the day of all days is, once again, upon us. Yes, it's that time to express your love to the one closest to you. Are you stuck, gentlemen, trying to decide what to give that special someone on Valentine's Day? Well, Dr. Love is here to help.

I say, stay away from the norm—avoid buying flowers, candy and alluring perfumes. What you need is a simple token of your love that will forever remain in her heart. May I suggest cash? The right amount--not too little, not too much—will win her heart every time. Too bold, you say? Then, how about lingerie from the Gold Mine? Too naughty for you? Oh, you're looking for something utile for that intimate partner of yours? Well, you can't go wrong shopping locally, and that's why I suggest a lighter from the Mini Mart or garden gloves from Mountain View Grocery or sweat socks from King's. She'll admire your practical side.

Power tools are always nice and you can't go wrong with an ice scraper from Les Schwab. Perhaps a snow shovel or a supply of Lipitor or a six-pack of Pepto-Bismol will catch her fancy. Why, in the past, I've given diet food items, an eight-pound dumbbell, a personal nametag or, my favorite, a 9.7-ounce canister of Febreze—the linen and sky scent.

This year, I'm giving a number of presents, which, I believe, will best reflect my thoughts for the cherished holiday: a one-week gift certificate to the Gannett Charm School, a free pass to the Drink With the Ranger program from the SNRA and assorted furniture items from my neighbor's front lawn. I hope these suggestions of expressed love will jangle your thinking caps and assist you in making the proper choice for your paramour on this hallowed day.

Nice talking to you.




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