Friday, October 28, 2011

Call to the bull pen


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

In this age of technological excellence in communications devices, Major League Baseball continues to live in the Stone Age. Monday night, in the fifth game of the World Series in Arlington, Texas, Tony Larussa, the St. Louis Cardinals manager, made a call to the bullpen for a relief pitcher as the Texas Rangers were threatening to rally with the score tied at 2-2 in the eighth inning. Apparently, in the big leagues they rely on old telephones instead of the latest equipment. It went something like this:

Ring...ring...ring...ri-.

"Where have you been? I've been calling for five minutes!"

"Sorry, Skip, I couldn't hear over the crowd noise!"

"Don't you have a light signal on the phone?"

"Oh, that's what that light is!"

"Never mind! Get me Rzepezynski and ... "

"Bless you."

"What?"

"You sneezed."

"No! Get me Rzepezynski and Motte!"

Rezpezynski comes in and gives up a single

Ring ...

<

"Get me Motte!"

"What!"

"Motte!"

"He's not warmed up! I didn't hear you say Motte!"

"Oh, no! Now he'll have to pitch to Napoli!"

Napoli slams a one-hop double off the right centerfield wall to drive in two more runs.

"Get him in here!" Click.

"He wants you, Lynn!

Lynn comes in. LaRussa mutters, "I said I wanted him—Motte. They send me Lynn." He tells Lynn to intentionally walk the next batter and calls again for Motte.

"You're killin' me out here. Get me Motte!

"You want what?"

Well, the Cardinals lose 4-2. Technology takes a hit. It's about time for twittering in St. Louis if they ever hope to win. Can you believe it—they also still use hand signals for signs.

Nice communicating with you.




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