Friday, September 30, 2011

The sophisticated bully


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Bullies have been around since the beginning of time. Most everyone has encountered one from their early childhood to elementary school to middle school, through high school, college, the military service and their business lives as an adult. They come in all forms, but the underlying message is that it's their way or the highway. It's easy to recognize these bullies by their rude and menacing manner—until now. Now, some of them have become more sophisticated:

"Excuse me."

"Yes?"

"I wonder if I might have a little chat with you."

"Well, what about?"

"My name is Dave and I'm going to have to ask you to give me your lunch money."

"What?"

"Your lunch money. Every day I see you going to the cafeteria at noon and paying for a big lunch."

"Yeah?"

"This just has to stop."

"Why?"

<

"Because I need your lunch money."

"Oh, well, hey, I think I have enough to spot you a few bucks today."

"Good—and I'll need that every day right here before noon."

"Why, that's extortion."

"It is? I don't see it that way. Why don't you just look at it as community aid?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not at all. As a matter of fact, your welfare is my concern."

"That sounds like an unveiled threat."

"It hurts me that you would take it that way."

"Well, I'm going to turn you in!"

"My advice would be—bad idea."

"It would."

"Yes, you see that rather diminutive fellow over there at his locker?"

"Yes."

"He used to be 6 foot 4."

"Oh."

"So ...'

"Here's some money. I'll see you tomorrow."

Nice talking to you.




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