Friday, April 8, 2011

Play Ball!


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Can't you just smell the freshly mown grass, the hotdogs, the peanuts, the overweight fans? Finally, it's spring and the bats are cracking in the snow. There's hope in the world. It's the baseball season—again.

I'm writing this on Sunday, April 2, and the Seattle Mariners are undefeated and are leading the American League West Division. Yes, it's the start of the major league baseball season, baseball fans, and my Mariners are looking like champions. Sure, there are 161 games to be played, but so what? We whupped those Oakland Athletics soundly because they made five errors and we had seven base on balls! ("A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I'd rather walk with the bases loaded." Ken Singleton)

The Mariners, referred to by all the experts of the national pastime, are the worst team in baseball. That makes me proud. I've always rooted for the underdog and this team has not disappointed me in the last few years. They can't hit, they make a lot of errors, they have the worst bullpen in organized sports and they hit the fewest home runs in the major leagues last year. If the saying "Chicks dig the long ball" is true, then these guys haven't had a date in two years. This is not a power team. Their idea of a rally is two walks, an error and taking a fastball in the face. An RBI (Run Batted In) is worth a concussion for this group of hopefuls. The fastest guy on the team looks like a greyhound and runs like a bus. I love them.

In this county, the Red Sox and the Yankees are the favorites and are both solid teams with great pitching, great hitting and great fielding. Plus, there's a lot of money behind them back on the East Coast. Our best new player this season was offered a $5,000 contract, but his father couldn't come up with the money. Love them! Play ball!

Nice talking to you.




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