Last week, the Colts lost to the Texans, the Cowboys lost to the Redskins and the Chargers lost to the Chiefs. These were all stunning upsets in the reality of football fans of the National Football League. However, to Fantasy Football fans, it just doesn't matter because, you see, they root for the positive statistics compiled by the player they selected at the beginning of the season. It really doesn't matter if the Colts lose all their games as long as their quarterback has a good game. Last week, Peyton Manning led all NFL quarterbacks in passing statistics even as his team, the Colts, were beaten soundly by the underdog Texans team. Fantasy Football participants who had Manning as their quarterback were thrilled.
What I want to know is, can these same fans develop their own lives in the same manner of fantasy? I don't know—maybe so. How about Fantasy Employment? Never mind if you don't have a job or have one that's not to your liking, in Fantasy Employment you select a career at the beginning of the year, compile their stats and see whether you had a good week. So what if you're still struggling, your fantasy lawyer won his case and collected a big fee. If you're still broke, never mind because you also enrolled in Fantasy Finances and your Fantasy Bank just gave you a personal loan at 1 percent interest and a new line of credit. You're a winner!
Single and alone? Not any longer because Jennifer Lopez has just fallen for you in Fantasy Relationships. And, you know in Fantasy Family, where you selected a dad, mom, sister or brother, your pick, Dirk Kempthorne as Fantasy Dad was hired last week by a private company for a million and a half a year. You won!
So you see, it just doesn't matter to Fantasy fans as long as their "picks" do well each week. Fantasy has become their destiny and everybody knows that destiny is just what you run into when you run out of willpower.
Keep on truckin' and nice talkin' to you.
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Mr. Millspaugh lives in a log cabin and works in the forest.
