Ralph and Wanda Petite and their two sons, Bucky and Lionel, from southern Idaho are getting ready for their yearly vacation—one week of camping in the Sawtooth Mountains.
Wanda: So, nobody wants kale or broccoli on the food supply list? I'll take that as a "no."
Ralph: Well, yah-ha. We need protein in the mountains, honey. I don't want to faint out there. I got a side of beef coming tonight from Uncle Charley that he's been marinating for a week. That and a few buckets from "The Colonel" ought to do us real good.
Wanda: But, what about veggies?
Ralph: We got the veggies right here in the pantry, baby-cakes. There's potato chips, baked beans, instant mashed potatoes, sauerkraut and 30 ears of corn. That's all we need.
Bucky: What about breakfast stuff, Dad? It's cold in the mornings up there, right, Lionel?
Lionel: What cold mean?
Ralph: Don't worry, boys, There'll be plenty of eggs, pancakes, sweet rolls, bacon and sausage every single mornin'. We got to start the day right.
Wanda: Don't you think nine six-packs of Pepsi and 12 cases of Budweiser is a little bit much?
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Ralph: Noooo. We don't want to run out, do we? It gets hot up there in July! We got to be prepared.
Lionel: What hot mean?
Wanda: Is that why we're bringing the bicycles, canoe, rubber raft, fishing poles and the ATVs?
Ralph: Well, ya-haa, Lollipop, we don't want to get bored up there, do we?
Wanda: But, Ralph, the forest's motto is "Pack it in, pack it out." How are we going to do that? We'll need 12 pack animals and some Sherpas to carry all this stuff!
Ralph: What carry? You don't think we're getting out of the RV, do ya? We're going to have a lot of fun parked right there in the parking lot by the trailhead. How else are we going to follow the other forest motto, "Leave No Trace?"
Lionel: What fun mean?
Ralph: You're killin' me, Lionel.
Wanda: Well, I guess you're right, Ralph. That way we won't get lost in the woods.
Ralph: You got that right, muffin-butter. Now, let me get back to workin' on the alarm system and septic tank for the RV and the gun turrets. Nice talkin' to ya'!
Lionel: What "nice talkin' to you" mean?
Everyone: Shut up, Lionel!
