Friday, April 30, 2010

May Day! May Day! May Day!


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

"Mayday" is an emergency code word used internationally as a distress signal. The call is always given three times in a row to prevent mistaking it from similar-sounding phrases in noisy conditions such as "Make Hay!" or "Mace Dave?" or "Maintain!"

Tomorrow is May and we must all be aware of its dangers. May Day can refer to various labor celebrations conducted on May 1 that commemorate the fight for the eight-hour work day championed by the socialists in the 1930s as International Workers Day. Don't let the tea baggers get behind this party. You know what they think about our Irish President, Brock O'Bama! The first day of May was also known for some stranger leaving a May Basket filled with flowers and sweets on your doorstep. Then, your doorbell would be rung and you were supposed to chase the May Basket deliverer down the street, catch him or her and kiss them. This could really develop into a bad scene. Finally, who could forget the Haymarket Affair in Chicago in 1886? At a labor rally, police opened fire and killed four strikers at the McCormick Harvesting Machine Co. plant. The next day a rally was formed at Haymarket Square to protest, a bomb was thrown and 12 people died. May is spooky.

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Back in the Middle Ages, every English village had its own Maypole and they would bring a large one from out of the woods, dance around it, rejoice and sing. They did this because there was nothing else to do then as the forest campers and vacationers hadn't arrived yet in their RVs with their Senior Passes. Thus, for centuries, it became a tradition not to allow campers into national parks until Memorial Day weekend. So, tourists were never allowed to see a Maypole. However, they could still get two free cords of wood at Decker Flat down by Redfish Lake. It's in all the history books. You could look it up.

Anyway, there are your warnings for May as we head into the weekend. My advice would be to stay home, clean out the garage or storage room, get bombed on tea and make a May Basket out of a Maypole. Leave the RV in the driveway and don't answer the doorbell. If you do, it will probably be someone yelling "May Day! in a repetitive fashion. Dive!

Nice talking to you.




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