Friday, April 23, 2010

That’s right

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By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Hi, may I help you?

Well, I hope so. I'm on vacation and I wanted to ask you what there was to do, but nothing seems to be happening.

Yes, well, that's right. The mountain closed last weekend and our summer season starts on Memorial Day Weekend.

What do you do now?

Shop.

Shop?

That's right.

You mean like for HD TVs, computers, automobiles?

No, that would support Japan, China, Taiwan, India and Pakistan. We go to yard sales.

Yard sales?

That's right.

Well, why not go to a big outlet store?

We can't have them here.

You can't?

That's right.

So, you go to local yard sales.

Local yard sales with beer kegs.

You drink beer while you shop?

That's right. I went to one yesterday and shopped all night.

What did you get?

I don't remember but I had a great time.

Why do you do it?

It's our own "stimulus package" and we know where the money's going.

To your neighbors?

That's right, and this weekend, I'm having a yard sale and everyone will come and buy the items I bought from them the week before and we'll have more beer together and talk about our families and life in a small town.

You know, it sounds like you're on to something.

That's right,

Nice talking to you.

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