Having nothing better to do on one of my days off last week, I decided to spend the entire day emulating a house cat. Now, a house cat is unique because it never goes outside—sort of an agoraphobic angora. Its rest room facilities are indoors and it has been trained since a newborn how to use them. It's not a bad gig since mainly you get to sleep 14, 15 hours a day. I enjoyed that part. The others were a bit more challenging.
During the waking hours, the first inclination is to yowl and head butt the ones that feed ya. Head butting is the highest form of affection one can bestow. Once the bowls are filled with chow and water, a few nibbles will suffice. You never eat everything at once. The point is that it is there. Now, the day begins.
Soon, I find myself running as fast as I can from the fireplace in the living room, through the kitchen, down the hall to the bedroom and then doing it over again. Repetition is important because the same course has to be run in the dead of night in the dark.
Another activity is playing hockey with soda bottle caps. The idea is to hit the "puck" against the kitchen baseboard, chase it and pounce on it as fast as you can—then repeat. Later, in the afternoon, I found myself lying on the back of the couch by the picture window in the living room to soak up the rays of the sun. After an hour of personal grooming, it's on to the scratch pad, into a large box while remembering to react to every motion, sound or change of light. When laundry comes out of the dryer and onto the bed, it's time to submarine through the pile and toss socks in the air.
In late afternoon, the modus operandi is to take a place in the back of the big closet and hide from humanity for a while. Soon, the "head buttee" returns home from work, dinner is served and after, a quick nap until 3:30 a.m., and then, "Let the games begin!" This continues until dawn.
It's a pretty good life and I enjoyed living it for one day. It's especially good if the ones that feed ya think that you're fairly amusing. I think I'll do the same thing next week.
Nice talking to you.
