Friday, February 12, 2010

Happy Holidays!


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Let me get this straight. Lincoln's Birthday is today, the 12th, Valentine's Day is Sunday, the 14th, and Washington's Birthday is the 22nd. But we celebrate the two presidents on the 3rd Monday of February, so President's Day is on Monday, the 15th---much like Martin Luther King Day is on the third Monday in January. Throw in the Super Bowl last Sunday, the 7th, and the Boulder Mountain Tour the day before, both of which come on different days each year, and we have a mess of disjointed holidays we find hard if not impossible to remember. If we forget, we're guilty of not promoting love, patriotism, civil rights and sports. I'd call that confusing.

It's hard enough to get through life each year without dealing with this. I'd like to ignore these birthdays but in my job I get these days off. A lot of people don't and they have to work on holidays. As for Valentine's Day, it's okay if you're in love and want to celebrate with your beloved, but if you're not you're just a bitter person and it's a disaster. If you're not into sports, you're seen as some alien who just doesn't get it.

But let's face it. It's the American way. We celebrate these days because commerce has always dictated that we do. We buy candy and flowers on the

"Day of Love." mattresses on the "Day of the Presidents," beer and tacos on the "Day of Football," toys on Christmas, turkey on Thanksgiving and fireworks on the Fourth of July. No wonder we're all in a financial crises.

So, what can we do---not celebrate? What are you---nuts? We have to. But next year I'm going to pick one day of my own choosing and celebrate all the holidays at one time. How about a day in March? No one celebrates anything in March. I'm taking March 13th. I'll start early and go on a march with a mattress on my back, carrying a bag of toys with a turkey in one hand, skis and a six pack in the other, a rose in my teeth and a firecracker imbedded in my butt. Whom am I hurting?

Happy holidays and nice talking to you.




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