Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Tiger, White House crashers: same-same

Express Staff Writer

Behold the eerie similarities in Tiger Woods' behavior and the antics of White House gatecrashers Michaele and Tareq Salahi and the corresponding painful consequences, despite utterly dissimilar backgrounds of Woods and the Salahis.

As if he were rejecting the suffocating childhood-to-adulthood regimentation of his taskmaster father to be the world's finest golfer, Tiger morphed into a Jekyll-Hyde double life, as a loving husband and adoring father and Mr. Clean of professional golf while also lustfully recruiting a string of women to satisfy a dark, obsessive urge for random, adulterous sex while on the road.

As of this week, nine women have emerged to claim clandestine sexual romps with Tiger, who carelessly left a trail of undeniable evidence. Are others yet to claim being his concubines?

With his Swedish politician-mother-in-law now rushed to a Florida hospital on Tuesday, and now talk of Tiger boozing and pill-popping, the drama gets only more sordid. And he expects privacy after all this?

As for the Salahis, they're psychotically obsessed with creating the false image of Social Register bluebloods of Virginia's horsy set. By crashing President Obama's state dinner, the Salahis achieved in their minds a special respectability and celebrity reserved for the select few.

But like Tiger, they lived a double life. Within hours of their Cinderella White House appearance, the Salahis were exposed as rank deadbeats with a trail of unpaid bills, a bankruptcy, broken promises, possible fundraising scams, lawsuits and, finally, potential targets of federal criminal charges.


Woods and the Salahis had their thrills. Now their lives are in shatters, forever emblazed in archived headlines, scandal, gossip and financial penalties yet to be calculated.

Tiger's wife has moved out, perhaps dooming his marriage and costing him millions of dollars in retribution. Whatever persona the Salahis tried to achieve, it's trashed.

But wait. American culture rarely ostracizes its most outrageous sinners. Dog-killer Michael Vick has resumed his pro football career. Call-girl client and disgraced former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer is now on TV as a respected analyst. Despite whispers of pedophilia and settling one child molestation lawsuit for more than $10 million, pop singer Michael Jackson remained ensconced as global royalty. Adulterers, serial divorcees, drug addicts and spousal abusers in entertainment and pro sports continue their careers uninterrupted.

The Salahis will resurrect themselves as society freaks, no matter how blemished.

As for Woods, the worst that can happen is a slow drain on his billion-dollar fortune as he persists in his foolhardy escapades with easily bedded young women who expect hush-money paydays.

Tiger's new handicap: stupidity.

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