Joe: Well, there's only 35 days left until Christmas.
Moe: Is that a fact?
Joe: Yes it is and you would be wise to shop now instead of later.
Moe: Yeah? Why? I don't have any money now, and I won't have any money later.
Joe: Well, you could make gifts.
Moe: I have no talents, creativity or skills.
Joe: You could do favors for people.
Moe: I don't like people.
Joe: Well, what about your family and friends?
Moe: Like I said, I don't like people.
Joe: What kind of spirit is that?
Moe: Canadian Club and cola.
Joe I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the Christmas spirit.
Moe: What has Christmas done for me?
Joe: Hey, 'tis the season—good will towards men. What's the matter with you?
Moe: I'm not a merry guy, okay?
Joe: What about donating your time to the needy?
Moe: I don't have the time. And, I'm one of the needy!
Joe: Why don't you go chop down a Christmas tree in the forest for someone.
Moe: I don't chop trees. I'm a naturalist.
Joe: Stuff some stockings ...
Moe: No stuff for the stockings.
Joe Trim a tree.
Moe: No trimmings—no tree.
Joe: Come on, deck the halls!
Moe: No deck—no halls.
Joe: Well, what are you going to do for 35 days?
Moe: Sing.
Joe: Sing?
Moe: O' little town of Ketchum now is bursting at the seams ... with 13 banks we give our thanks and live beyond our means.
Joe: Now, cut that out!
Moe: Check the balls on that big-
Joe: I'm warning you!
Moe: Collie -- fa -- la -- la -- la -- la --la -- la -- la -- lah!
Joe: I'm outta' here!
Nice talkin' to you...
