Friday, August 28, 2009

Back To School


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Yes, kids, it's that time again—time to rejoin your friends, check out the new kids, see who's hot and see who's not. It's the same deal whether you're going to elementary school, middle school or high school.

Then, there are those of you who are off to college. Many of you, because of economic reasons, will be attending the higher learning institutions of our fair state. You'll be on your own for the first time, eager to learn and wide open for adventure. You can now take four years off from the "rat race" and enjoy life as you amass student loan debts that will stay with you for years. To insure that you remain in school, I'd like to suggest a few college courses available this fall semester.

Chemistry 412, "Burnout Neurology": An introduction to pot heads who take part in everything and nothing in a virtual brain cell depletion fiesta.

Women's Studies: "Baby, Fix Me Dinner": Embracing the rewards of domesticity.

American Studies: "Tab vs. Shasta": Deconstructing the Dream of the American cola.

Theatre 120, "Costume Effects": Adjusting your sissy-pants, beret and cape.

Geology 101 (for football majors): A rock is a rock is a rock."

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Nature 103, "Kill Them": A Look at endangered species in the state.

History 102, "Mining, Sheep, Tourists and Banks in a Red State": A peek back on how we got here.

Political Science 404, "It's Not Lying When It's Spin": How to get to Congress.

Pre-Med Idaho, "Tick Fever, Shingles and Sheep Flu": Learn about local ailments.

Chemistry Field Trips 206, "I Sing the Mushroom Electronic": A Search for 'shrooms other than morels.

American Film 108, "The Study of Film at the Magic Lantern": View 30 films a week with Professor Kessler.

Fun 201, "What Really Counts In Life:" A review of important things.

Good luck in school this year, kids ... and nice talking to you.




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