Friday, August 21, 2009

Blame the Wolves


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Moe: I saw where the Phantom Hill Mob slaughtered some sheep last week.

Joe: Yeah, a bunch of sheep strayed away from the flock and there weren't any shepherds guarding them.

Moe: Damn wolves. Who do they think they are?

Joe: Predators?

Moe: You can't even walk in the woods anymore without getting attacked by wolves.

Joe: They don't attack humans. They're afraid of us. No one has ever been killed by wolves. They have families and, let's say, go shopping.

Moe: That's another thing. I can't even buy a decent cut of lamb in the grocery anymore. When they have lamb it's so high priced I can't afford it.

Joe: Wolves made it so?

Moe: Damn straight. I pay more for food and I can't buy gas and can't keep my car on the road.

Joe: Wolves cause that?

More: Yes! And, another thing, my health insurance is so high ...

Joe: Wolves, eh?

Moe: If I get sick I can't afford to do anything ...

Joe: Because of wolves.

Moe: Yes! Hate them! I can't even go to the movie because of the ...

Joe: Wolves?

Moe: I can't even sleep at night be ...

Joe: Can't sleep, wolves might eat me. Can't sleep, wolves might eat me.

Moe: Hey, you know why the First Bank of Idaho failed?

Joe: Wolves?

Moe: And all that rain in June?

Joe: Wolves.

Moe: Meteor showers?

Joe: Wolves.

Moe: The Whiskey Jacques' fire?

Joe: Probably wolves.

Moe: My check bounced at the Casino.

Joe: Wolves.

Moe: My girlfriend left me.

Joe: Most likely dating wolves.

Moe: I drink too much.

Joe: Wolves.

Moe: They ought to declare open season on them.

Joe: They did.

Moe: Great. Then I can go kill them.

Joe: And then all our problems will be over.

Nice talking to you.




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