Friday, July 31, 2009

Let’s go camping


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

(At the bar)

Joe: Well, the rain finally stopped.

Moe: It did?

Joe: Yeah ... you've got to get out of this bar.

Moe: Why?

Joe: So we can go camping. It's beautiful out there.

Moe: Out where?

Joe; In the forest.

Moe: The national forest?

Joe: Yeah.

Moe: They have more rules than my parents did.

Joe: Oh, it's not so bad and the rules are for your own safety.

Moe: Why would anyone want to go camping in the woods? Everything out there will either eat you, bite you or give you a rash.

Joe: Oh, you'll love it. We can go hiking.

Moe: I don't care for hiking. The longest hike I ever took was when I tried to find my car in the Sun Valley Lodge parking lot one night. Besides, we could get lost.

Joe: You'll never get lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

Moe: Hey, instead of hiking, let's just take the chairlift to the top of Baldy.

Joe: No, just meet me tomorrow at the trailhead here on this map.

Moe: Do they have a McDonald's at the trailhead?

Joe: No.

Moe: How about an escalator?

Joe: Would you stop it? We're going to be walking on a real forest trail.

Moe: Is it paved?

Joe: No!

Moe: Well, how do they plow it in the winter?

Joe: Never mind that—we'll have fun.

Moe; How will we eat?

Joe: We'll fish. How else can you survive in the wilderness?

Moe: Well, I was going to take the elastic out of my underwear, make a sling shot and shoot small game.

Joe: Maybe you'll make it after all. See you tomorrow.

Nice talking to you.




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