Friday, May 1, 2009

An Angel Gets His Wings


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

May Day! Run! SOS! My bank failed! It's like a plot from "It's a Wonderful Life." It finally hit home. Every time a bank fails, an angel gets his wings. Reality bites.

OK, calm down. This is nothing. It's the first of May and all is well. Starting on Memorial Day weekend (which comes early this year), the tourists will be back and we'll all be in "high cotton." It will be a Hollywood ending with a lot of angels graduating.

I was thinking this last Sunday even when I heard the First Bank of Idaho became the 29th bank to fail in the United States of America in these past few months. Then, something else caught my attention. Locals were being pulled over for speeding. People I've known for years who've never had a ticket were being busted right and left in SLACK! What's up with that? Barney Fife is on a roll! Not a real warm feeling when we're all struggling and the K.P.D. decides to crack down on the locals. Where's the love, folks? Every time an angel gets his wings, a local gets a traffic ticket.

But, thank the Lord, we have our animals to relieve the pressures of life. Take last weekend, for instance. On a drive out of town, we stopped to let the dogs out to relieve themselves. The younger of the two decided it would really be cool to roll in some animal waste in the park. He was taken directly to the Sinclair station for a wash in the sink with some aid from some Clorox wipes and rags from a sympathetic clerk. Every time a dog rolls in poop, an angel gets his wings.

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After thoroughly fumigating the 1984 "George Orwell" Cadillac Coupe DeVille, the road trip continued with road rage in the air. What is it with drivers who like to tailgate you at 65 miles an hour? May Day! May Day. Every time an—oh, shut up!

All I know is that there's a whole lot of wing-winning going on. We gotta' ease up and be kind to ourselves. Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.

Nice talking to you.




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