Friday, April 24, 2009

How To Save Money


We need to seriously think of ways to save money, kids. The town is dead. Everybody's away or they're staying home. Here's some ideas to help.

1. Cut and color your wife's hair and save hundreds.

2. Go to Vera Cruz for your dental work.

3. Keep your water heater at 45 degrees.

4. Keep your air conditioner on 89 degrees.

5. Flush just four times a month.

6. Borrow lawn equipment and tools and keep them.

7. Cook everything in the oven at one time for breakfast, lunch, dinner and cookies.

8. Wash all dishes in a pressure cooker.

9. Don't smoke and save 5 bucks a day.

10. Don't drink and save 20 dollars a day.

11. Don't reproduce and save thousands.


12. Shower with a friend.

13. Freeze your cash with a large vacuum-packing food saver system.

14. Outfit your wedding at the Gold Mine and say your vows in a Buick.

15. Print your own money.

16. Save $5 bills if you see any.

17. Buy used food on eBay.

18. Split the trash pickup bill with your neighbor. Your split is 10 percent—his is 90 percent.

19. Buy double-strength detergent, aspirin and shampoo and use only half.

20. Vacation in Picabo.

I'm here to help. Nice talking to you.

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