Friday, December 19, 2008

Workin' the Bar: A Christmas Story


Joe: What are you doin' for Christmas?

Moe: Nothing.

Joe: What do you mean nothing?

Moe: I mean nothing. The kids are all grown up and live out of town,

Joe: Why don't you go see them?

Moe: With what?

Joe: No money, huh?

Moe: Right. Nada.

Joe: I'm strapped, too, or I'd lend you some.

Moe: Thanks anyway.

Joe: You wanna' come over to the house for Christmas dinner?

Moe: Naw, I prefer to dine alone on Holidays.

Joe: What are you having?

Moe: The usual—a can of cat food.

Joe: Don't say that. You're making me feel terrible!

Moe: Why should it? It's not the bottom of the line, cat food—it's Science Diet.

Joe: That's really sad.

Moe: What? It's veterinarian recommended.

Joe: You can't have cat food for Christmas!

Moe: Why not? I hate dog food.

Joe: Oh, yeah? What about that bacon-flavored brand?

Moe: I tried it and it didn't do it for me.

Joe: What about oats?

Moe: Horse food? I don't think so.

Joe: Horses eat carrots and ...

Moe: I draw the line at rabbit's cuisine, pal.

Joe: Look, I can't let you ...

Moe: Forget it, will you? A can of Science Diet, a little wine and a Twinkie and I'm set to go.

Joe: Hey, this is really driving me nuts. I won't be able to enjoy the holidays knowing that you're ...

Moe: Will you stop? I'll be just fine. Besides the neighborhood cats are expecting me.

Joe: (Open up his wallet, pulls out a 50 and slams it on the bar.) Here, take this. It's a gift. You don't owe me a thing. I gotta' go! (Exits)

Bro: Hey, where's Joe going?

Moe: Shopping ... I think. It's right around the corner, you know?

Bro: Christmas? Yes it is, What are you doin' for Christmas?

Moe: Nothin.'

Bro: Nothin'? What do you mean, nothin'?

Moe: Well, I ...

Moe made over $350 that afternoon and had the happiest of holidays ever. Merry Christmas and ... nice talking to you.

 Local Weather 
Search archives:

Copyright © 2021 Express Publishing Inc.   Terms of Use   Privacy Policy
All Rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission of Express Publishing Inc. is prohibited. 

The Idaho Mountain Express is distributed free to residents and guests throughout the Sun Valley, Idaho resort area community. Subscribers to the Idaho Mountain Express will read these stories and others in this week's issue.