Joe: What are you doin' for Christmas?
Moe: Nothing.
Joe: What do you mean nothing?
Moe: I mean nothing. The kids are all grown up and live out of town,
Joe: Why don't you go see them?
Moe: With what?
Joe: No money, huh?
Moe: Right. Nada.
Joe: I'm strapped, too, or I'd lend you some.
Moe: Thanks anyway.
Joe: You wanna' come over to the house for Christmas dinner?
Moe: Naw, I prefer to dine alone on Holidays.
Joe: What are you having?
Moe: The usual—a can of cat food.
Joe: Don't say that. You're making me feel terrible!
Moe: Why should it? It's not the bottom of the line, cat food—it's Science Diet.
Joe: That's really sad.
Moe: What? It's veterinarian recommended.
Joe: You can't have cat food for Christmas!
Moe: Why not? I hate dog food.
Joe: Oh, yeah? What about that bacon-flavored brand?
Moe: I tried it and it didn't do it for me.
Joe: What about oats?
Moe: Horse food? I don't think so.
Joe: Horses eat carrots and ...
Moe: I draw the line at rabbit's cuisine, pal.
Joe: Look, I can't let you ...
Moe: Forget it, will you? A can of Science Diet, a little wine and a Twinkie and I'm set to go.
Joe: Hey, this is really driving me nuts. I won't be able to enjoy the holidays knowing that you're ...
Moe: Will you stop? I'll be just fine. Besides the neighborhood cats are expecting me.
Joe: (Open up his wallet, pulls out a 50 and slams it on the bar.) Here, take this. It's a gift. You don't owe me a thing. I gotta' go! (Exits)
Bro: Hey, where's Joe going?
Moe: Shopping ... I think. It's right around the corner, you know?
Bro: Christmas? Yes it is, What are you doin' for Christmas?
Moe: Nothin.'
Bro: Nothin'? What do you mean, nothin'?
Moe: Well, I ...
Moe made over $350 that afternoon and had the happiest of holidays ever. Merry Christmas and ... nice talking to you.
