Friday, November 21, 2008

When You Gotta Get Home


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Joe: "Couple shots?"

Mo: "Shots? No, I gotta' get home in one piece. Big day tomorrow."

Joe: "OK, beers."

Mo: "Beers? Where's my shot."

Joe:" OK, beer and a shot."

Mo: "And, that's it!

Joe: "Whatever."

Mo: "What are we drinkin' to?"

Joe: "The economy."

Mo: "'Conomy!"

(Slam shooters—chase with drafts)

Joe: "The economy sucks!"

Mo: "Tell me about it. I got laid off last week. But I got a shot tomorrow at this construction site."

Joe: "Shot?"

Mo: "Yeah, I got a shot?"

Joe: "Well, yeah, to the new job!"

Mo: "Well, yah."

(Slam two more shooters)

Joe: "Where's the chasers?"

Mo: "OK, two more beers and I'm outta here."

(Slam two drafts)

Joe: "Hey, we didn't toast with the beers."

Mo: "Damn! All right—a toast and two more beers."

Joe: "What? No shots?"

Mo: "OK, two more beers and two more shots for the toast."

(Slam two more shots and chase them with beers)

Joe: "Okay. What are we toastin'?"

Mo: "Sonova—we forgot the toast again!"

Joe: "All right. Then we gotta do two more!"

Mo: "But, first, we toast, DAMN IT!"

Joe: "Why are you yelling!"

Mo: "I'M NOT YELLING!"

Joe: "You're yelling."

Mo: "WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO GET FACED! I got that interview tomorrow, remember?"

Joe: "I'll drink to that! Two more—back 'em up!"

Mo: "I can't! I gotta drive home and I can't leave my truck!"

Joe: "Yes, you can."

Mo: "What are you, Obama?"

Joe: "No, just call this number. A guy comes here to the bar and drives you home in your truck."

Mo: "Get out!"

Joe: "It's true."

Mo: "What? Does he sleep on my couch? I can't take him home—I got that appointment."

Joe: "No, another guy comes over and takes him away."

Mo: "Unbelievable! Well, all right, then. TWO MORE SHOOTERS!"

Wouldn't it be nice to have a service like this in a resort town?

Nice talkin' to you.




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