Friday, September 12, 2008

Sacked in the 21st century


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

The Unites States of America goes digital in February next year. We've been bombarded with that information all summer. So, what happens if I have an antenna on my TV set that won't get UHF? What if I lack a channel 3 or channel 4? Those are the criteria for getting hooked up. The country will go on digital in February and I will have a picture screen of snow and static.

Not only that, I have a cell phone that doesn't work inside my home. I live in a dead zone. I can't even call someone to complain and come over to fix my TV. What's up with that?

I can't even get my mail delivered to my house. If it snows like crazy this winter and I'm trapped inside, I won't be able to drive my car, call on the phone, watch TV or write a letter for HELP!

This is life in the 21st century? Come on! I might as well be living in a sack in a Dumpster.

"But, what about the early pioneers?" you say. "They got by."

What about them? They didn't know any better, all right? I do. I'm living in the technical revolution where everyone promises me the moon. They promise me that things will be convenient, easy and better.

Yeah? I don't think so! You ever heard of pioneers living in a sack in a Dumpster? Have you? No! They were too busy looking at the leaves and staying alive.

Gee, I'm afraid I got a little worked up this week. You'll have to forgive me. Well, there's nothing to do now except stare at the beautiful leaves, and what's the matter with that? I'm sick of TV and all the football.

And that's another thing! Professional football is a joke. Parity! I hate parity! Let's see how everybody feels when every team goes eight wins and eight losses and no one goes to the Super Bowl. But why would I care if there is a Super Bowl or not? It's in February, isn't it? I won't get to see it anyway. Where's my sack?

Nice talking to you ...

Chris Millspaugh is unemployed and lives in a sack in a dumpster.




 Local Weather 
Search archives:


Copyright © 2024 Express Publishing Inc.   Terms of Use   Privacy Policy
All Rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission of Express Publishing Inc. is prohibited. 

The Idaho Mountain Express is distributed free to residents and guests throughout the Sun Valley, Idaho resort area community. Subscribers to the Idaho Mountain Express will read these stories and others in this week's issue.