Friday, August 22, 2008

Bound For the Faire


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

Because of the Castle Rock Fire last summer, we haven't been able to see any Shakespeare Plays or Renaissance Faires. Well, all that comes to a grinding halt this weekend as the Sun Valley pasture will be alive with the works of the "Bard." It will be especially rewarding to once again see how the actors intermingle with the county locals.

"Where dost thou goest?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Are ye bound for the Faire?"

"Uh, the Arts and Crafts Fair is over and I don't do bondage, okay?"

"Dost thou not know of the Renaissance?"

"Stop spitting on me!"

"Oh, forsooth ...!

"Hey, you just hocked on my Giants jersey!"

"Yea, giants! Giants and dragons and such, my lord!"

"My lord, my --! Ixnay on the spitsay, drag queen!"

"Perhaps you protest too much!"

"All right, now you drenched my cap!"

"Nay, pray that ...

"Look, I'm gonna' lay you out if you don't control that juice mouth!"

"Verily, I mean no harm, dost thou not see?"

"Is everything a question with you, velvet boy?"

"Nay, I merely beggeth ye to cometh with me to the Faire."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, pal. Look at the way you're dressed!"

"Tis the cloth of the era, my liege."

"I'm not your liege, tights. Now, could you just ... "

"Cannot you see ye judge me in error?"

"Hey, call me Thurgood Marshall, okay?"

"You spitteth on me now!"

"I did not!"

"Yea, ye did with that Thurgood remark."

"Aw, you did it again, Tweety-bird!"

(Draws sword) "Fill your hand, sir, or I will smite with one blow!"

"Hey, take it easy! I didn't know you were packin'! I'll cometh with ye to the Faire!"

"My heart doth soar! Come along now."

"Could you lower the big knife, merry-man?"

"If we bound for the Faire, I willeth."

"Bound this. I'm goin' but I'll need a towel for my face!"

Nice talkething to ye...




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