Friday, August 15, 2008

Show me the way


By CHRIS MILLSPAUGH

I stopped drinking. So, in fairness to the Casino and the money they're losing on me, a friend of mine, John Grabow, suggested that I direct all the visitors who dropped by the "Spazebo" at the Ketchum Town Plaza last week to the Casino no matter where they wanted to go.

"Hi, can you tell me where there's a good place to go for lunch?"

"Yeah, the Casino. Go down the alley over there, cross Sun Valley Road, stay in the alley and take the back door on the right toward the end of the street. If you go into an Italian kitchen, you've gone too far."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Hey, can you direct me to the Arts and Crafts show?"

"Sure. Go down the alley over there, cross Sun Valley Road, stay in the alley and take the back door on the right toward the end of the road. If you ..."

"Great, thanks."

"Love you."

"Hi, which way to the new Pavilion?"

"Go down that alley over there, cross Sun Valley Road, continue on down the alley, take the back door on the right toward the end of the alley. Now, if you ..."

"Wait a minute!. The Sun Valley Pavilion is off an alley?"

"Yes."

"Well, all right. That alley over there?"

"Hmm-mmm."

"Howdy! Where can I ride some horses?"

"Casino." (pointing down the alley.)

"Hi-ho! Where can I go to buy an X-Box 360 game?"

"Casino."

"Whitewater rafting?"

"Sino."

"I need to mail a letter. Where's the post office?"

"Office? Casino - alley - back - right."

"Say, I'm looking for my wife. She said she'd be in a dress shop on Main Street."

"Casino. I wrote down the directions for you."

"Hey, lookin' for a place to camp!"

"Casino."

"They have hook-ups?"

"Every night after 1 p.m."

"Hiking?"

"Can't say no."

"Bike path?"

"Through the Casino."

"Place to stay?"

"Ka-Sa-No."

"Places to worship."

"Casino."

"Boating?"

"See, no."

"Paragliding."

"Si, como no."

"Bus."

"Front of the Casino."

"Thanks."

Nice talkin' to you."




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