Friday, Feb. 9, Suns
7:00—Welcome once again to the Sun Valley Skating Center and Roller Disco. At least to those lucky enough to get into the arena—this place is packed tighter than Angelina Jolie's dress on Oscar night. Cubby's Lounge, located in the far corner, has clearly become a sensation. If the increase in patrons continues at its current rate, he might have to hire the scrappy former Sun, Terry Heneghan, as a bouncer.
7:00:25—Suns score before the last notes of the National Anthem have died away. I listen closely, and over the eruption from the stands and our bench I hear the visitor's bench emit a collective expletive. Well, if they didn't they sure as hell should, as they flew in a goalie from Canada in order to avenge the humiliation we caused them a month ago in Jackson. Looks like it's really working out for you there, fellas.
7:06—Before the game I told Eric 'D-Day' Demment that the aerodynamics of his shiny new helmet would add at least 2 mph to his shot. I thought I was full of it, but apparently he believed it as he bombs one by the Moose ringer.
7:16—Reason #72 why I'm not long for this earth: according to Josh Jacobson himself, whenever our players see him winding up from the point, they make a concerted effort to dive for cover. This includes guys on the bench. I, on the other hand, apparently lack any instinct for self-preservation and skate right towards the incoming artillery. After the game, people will congratulate me for a skillful goal, managing to redirect a shot out of mid-air into the net. Perhaps I won't correct them, letting them believe I was trying to score rather than simply making a pirouette to keep my spleen from being destroyed.
7:35—Jeremy "Jerry" Schreiber scores a nice power play goal to make it 4-2 towards the end of the first. I could care less at the moment, however, as I'm too busy chuckling at the sight of the on-ice celebration. Our über-talented line of Villi, Shorty and Rico make Jerry and D-Day look like Gulliver prancing among the Lilliputians.
8:06—There it was. My first real chance for a multi-goal game bounces off the post, the back of the goalie's head and narrowly misses the net. I wonder whom I pissed off in my previous life?
8:10—Too bad hockey doesn't share the same rules as basketball, as D-Day scores what would surely be a three-pointer. Shorthanded, he wrists the puck out of our end, never expecting that his bouncing, clearing shot would handcuff the Moose keeper and find its way in. As Eric skates to the bench with his head down in mock shame, the Beer Gardeners continue their merciless verbal barrage on the keeper. This guy now has less confidence than Lindsay Lohan in a hot dog eating contest.
8:14—Chasing down a rushing Jackson forward, we get tangled up in traffic at the blueline and I use my stick and his lower back to stop my forward momentum. He gets me back, however, as his skate flies up behind him and catches me in the tricep. That will feel even better tomorrow.
8:20—Chris "Chipsy" Warrington makes a valiant effort at blocking a shot and accidentally knees the puck past our goalie Ryan Thomson. All these goals may be entertaining for the fans, but this is shaping up to be one hell of an ugly game.
8:50—Villi ushers his son Jake into the locker room with a sense of urgency. As the Zamboni comes off the ice, he has to hurry to get in our intermission cheer. I'm not sure if the two-year old fully comprehends what's happening, but perhaps on some level he senses his integral role in our winning streak.
9:15—Trevor "Mr. Friday Night" Thomas earns an early beer for the night. The start of the fisticuffs sees him in a disadvantageous position, having been forced to his knees. However, he recovers brilliantly and, much to the chagrin of the pugnacious Moose, gives the roaring crowd a lesson on how to maintain balance while delivering a succession of uppercuts and straight rights. Once class is dismissed, he uses the last of his energy to sprint victoriously towards our locker room. The energy in the rink right now is palpable.
9:30—Every time we get up by three, the Moose manage to get another one and stay in the game. I'm starting to feel like John Malkovich in "Rounders" when he comments in his horrible fake Russian accent, "Hanging around. Hanging around. Kid's got alligator blood. Can't get rid of him."
9:42—Chipsy to Shorty for the empty net insurance. With 21 total goals on the night, this feels more like a game of pond hockey. I wonder if they're just going to drive their goalie straight to the airport.
10:00—Relaxed atmosphere in the locker room, yet the team doesn't celebrate too much, knowing that tomorrow we have the chance to not only set a Suns' record for longest winning streak, but also sweep Jackson for the first time since the rivalry began. Two birds with one stone and all that.
Saturday, Feb. 10
6:00—Arriving at the barn in our new team jackets, compliments of ex-Sun Bobby "Kingpin" Farrelly, I can't help but think of Barnzy's program quote: You look good, you play good.
6:30—Another reminder of the incestuous nature of New England hockey; turns out Jackson's Hannafin brothers grew up one town away from my own and played with my high school linemate. This doesn't preclude me from intensely disliking their current team, however.
6:45—In the words Col. Jessep from "A Few Good Men," "Well...don't I feel like (expletiving) (expletive)." With my head down, I let go of quick snap shot in warm-ups and end up hitting Ryan Thomson in the throat. Not good when he got his nickname Eggshell for a reason.
7:00—Wow, the Moose are giving their recruited goalie another chance. This must make their backup feel like the kid who was always picked last for kickball.
7:13—Got to love hockey if only for the fact that it's acceptable to throw dead animals, or, in this case, parts of dead animals on the ice after a goal. Anyone interested in a duck-head stew?
7:20—Having tired of Terry Heneghan's constant ribbing about how my lack of physicality is disgracing the Suns' Masshole contingent, I'm now hitting anyone in a Moose uniform, whether they are near the puck or not, as well as Scottie Winkler and the ref. Those last two were accidents I swear.
7:37—Chipsy redeems himself after last night's own goal, this time caroming a slap shot off of one of their defensemen into the net. Always good to score one in the last minute of the period and send the opposition to the locker room in a bad mood.
8:02—Villi starts the second period right where we left off, wasting less than 10 seconds to work his magic, this time scoring from behind the net. Either he's really good or their keeper is terrible. Or maybe both.
8:25—My sweet revenge is tainted. I finally catch my nemesis—the goon who blindsided me when we played in Jackson—with his head down, but the satisfaction from the hit is diminished when I receive two minutes for elbowing.
9:11—Billy "The Kid" Tryder makes his first goal of the season a big one, putting us up by two in the third period. You couldn't wipe the smile off his face with a sandblaster.
9:49—D-U-N done. The champagne it flowing like wine as we celebrate the feat we've accomplished this season. And what better team to beat to set the consecutive wins record.
9:55—Jerry tries to change quickly and slip out of the locker room lest he be saddled with the George Jacket to weeks in a row. While it would be hilarious if his clever ruse backfired, he doesn't have to worry as the tradition finds its way to a deserving Jami James.
10:45—Doing his best Willy Cook impersonation, Barnzy comes into the Pioneer with a broom to do the sweep dance. Unfortunately team documentarist, Mat Gershater, is AWOL and this one will go unrecorded. Then again, maybe that's a good thing.
