Resolutions
we’d like to see
Americans are busy people, preoccupied as
we are with the Middle East, wild winter weather and mad cow disease.
Making New Year’s resolutions takes time,
and this annual tradition may be in danger of fading away. So, we’ve created an
easy list for those in the public eye who may forget or simply don’t have time
to ponder self improvement measures.
Here are a few resolutions we’d like to
see.
U.S. Congress: To support retention
of the Endangered Species Act, which celebrated its 30th birthday Dec. 28 and
which saved species including America’s symbol, the Bald Eagle, the American
Alligator, the California condor, and gray and red wolves.
Dick Grasso, former chairman of the
New York Stock Exchange: To give back the outrageous $140 million in benefits
and savings he amassed during his tenure.
Howard Dean,
Democratic presidential hopeful and former governor of Vermont: To check the
secret meeting skeletons in his own closet before lashing out at the Bush
Administration for secret energy task force deliberations.
Blaine County Commissioners: (Same
as last three years) To hire an administrator to allow them to manage the big
picture and to leave the micromanaging to others.
Food and Drug Administration: To
quit blaming Canada for mad cow disease and get its food and animal tracking and
testing houses in order.
American Beef Industry: To quit
protesting the expense of new regulations that would protect the nation’s meat
supply now that it has learned the meaning of penny-wise and pound-foolish.
Bellevue, and Blaine County: (Same
as last year) To follow Ketchum, Hailey and Sun Valley in adopting a Dark Skies
Ordinance to protect the valley’s incredible view of the Milky Way.
Wannabe Sun Valley Developers:
Repeat once before submitting new projects to the city’s governing boards,
"Those folks in Idaho aren’t as dumb as we think."
Local drivers: To fasten seatbelts
and drive defensively so as not to surpass Highway 75’s record 14 fatalities to
date.
Idaho Republican Party Vice-Chairman
Latham Williams: To leave any Internet antics to the teenagers.
Idaho Congressman Butch Otter: To
keep up his criticism of the Bush Administration’s Patriot Act.
Idaho Congressman Mike Simpson: To
stop the news leaks, garage the trial balloons, and let everyone look at the
much talked about but still invisible bill to designate a Boulder-White Cloud
Wilderness Area in central Idaho.
President George W. Bush: 1) To
stop the red ink that will drown future generations in grinding debt. 2) To look
up the meaning of the word "environment." 3) To start reading a newspaper. 4) To
rebuild Iraq and bring the troops home.
U.S. Military and Intelligence
Services: To find Osama Bin Laden.
City of Ketchum: To buy new
batteries for its obviously defunct calculator—the one that keeps reading out
red ink, black ink, red ink, black ink.
U.S. judges: To send all corporate
wrongdoers to Idaho for sentencing. A city of Boise employee who misspent a few
hundred dollars of taxpayer funds and tried to cover up was sentenced to 90 days
in jail. Just think what an Idaho judge might do with someone who stole
millions.
U.S. Forest Service: To quit trying
to convince the public that controversial fees charged at trailheads are good
things, face the fact that they are an unfair tax collected only on the willing,
and the recalcitrant caught by federal officers.
AARP members: To cancel their
memberships in an organization that lobbied for the new Medicare bill drug
benefit for seniors when the real benefit is really for drug companies.
Idaho Land Board Members: To quit
beefing about federal control of public lands in the West while refusing to
abide by local planning and zoning ordinances on state lands and telling the
Wood River Valley they will put gravel pits or lighted cell towers wherever they
feel like it.
Idaho Attorney General Lawrence Wasden:
To quit wasting the state’s money on lawsuits to squeeze blood from Idaho’s poor
school districts and instead demand that the Idaho Legislature adequately fund
education for Idaho kids.
Ketchum Mayor Ed Simon: To give up
speeches about the need for affordable housing in the wake of appointing more
anti-housing members to the Planning and Zoning Commission.
Idaho Department of Parks and
Recreation: To back down on a plan that will decimate areas around Challis,
Mackay and Copper Basin by making them a mecca for ATVs.
City of Sun Valley: To figure out a
way to keep the Elkhorn Golf Course open to the public and the summer economy
humming.
Hailey: To look askance at
developments that will promote sprawl without producing money to pay for city
services.
Music lovers: To quit killing the
music industry with pirated downloads.