For the week of December 19 - 25, 2001

A peek at 
Santa’s secret lists

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The scritching of pens and the clattering of keyboards can be heard all over Idaho this week as believers draft last-minute letters to Santa.

Santa’s elves, who open the mail, know it’s not just the wee ones who write. They have a special box for letters from the great ones. They let us take a peek to see what visions of sugarplums are dancing in their heads this year.

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President George W. Bush: No dolls, no tanks, no bombs— just Osama bin Laden himself. No wrapping or bows required, Santa.

Governor Dirk Kempthorne: Some "Men in Black" for a cadre of personal bodyguards to replace a contingent of State Police and to go with his street closures and cement barricades around the Capitol. Don’t forget the cool sunglasses, Santa.

U.S. Sen. Larry Craig: A bunch of cute little commercial nuclear reactors to sprinkle through Idaho. The elves are a little concerned about possible exposure to hazardous substances, but Larry insists it’s no problem. Wear the lead suit this year, Santa.

Idaho Citizens Redistricting Committee: A map of Idaho with the population of every voting district perfectly balanced, with all communities of interest intact. A couple of good lawyers might help, too, Santa.

Idaho Land Board: A replacement for the Jon Marvel doll that crumbled last year from having been stuck with too many pins. If the elves can’t get it done in time, it would settle for a pin cushion¾ in the shape of Blaine County.

Idaho Legislature: Cloaks of Invisibility for the vote on whether to revoke state term limits for local offices that were imposed by a large margin of voters through the initiative process.

County and city elected officials: Nothing for themselves, but a large dose of courage for members of the Idaho Legislature when they vote on revoking term limits.

U.S. Forest Service: A do-it-yourself refresher course in arithmetic so it can count to 100, something it demonstrated it could not do when it exceeded a congressional cap on experimental fee sites by using a single pass to impose fees on 1,349 separate sites. Flash cards please, Santa.

Blaine County Commission Chair MaryAnn Mix: A Top Secret stamp and a locked vault for public documents she wants to hide away. Santa, do you remember Maxwell Smart and the Cone of Silence?

Sun Valley Mayor Dave Wilson: Six shiny new buses and a couple of parking lots for a valley-wide bus system. Also, a book on transforming experiences to explain what happened to him in Aspen.

 

The Idaho Mountain Express is distributed free to residents and guests throughout the Sun Valley, Idaho resort area community. Subscribers to the Idaho Mountain Express will read these stories and others in this week's issue.