A peek at
Santaís secret lists
scritching of pens and the clattering of keyboards can be heard all over
Idaho this week as believers draft last-minute letters to Santa.
elves, who open the mail, know itís not just the wee ones who write.
They have a special box for letters from the great ones. They let us take
a peek to see what visions of sugarplums are dancing in their heads this
George W. Bush: No dolls, no tanks, no bombsó just Osama bin Laden
himself. No wrapping or bows required, Santa.
Dirk Kempthorne: Some "Men in Black" for a cadre of personal
bodyguards to replace a contingent of State Police and to go with his
street closures and cement barricades around the Capitol. Donít forget
the cool sunglasses, Santa.
Sen. Larry Craig: A bunch of cute little commercial nuclear reactors
to sprinkle through Idaho. The elves are a little concerned about possible
exposure to hazardous substances, but Larry insists itís no problem.
Wear the lead suit this year, Santa.
Citizens Redistricting Committee: A map of Idaho with the population
of every voting district perfectly balanced, with all communities of
interest intact. A couple of good lawyers might help, too, Santa.
Land Board: A replacement for the Jon Marvel doll that crumbled last
year from having been stuck with too many pins. If the elves canít get
it done in time, it would settle for a pin cushionĺ in the shape of
Legislature: Cloaks of Invisibility for the vote on whether to revoke
state term limits for local offices that were imposed by a large margin of
voters through the initiative process.
and city elected officials: Nothing for themselves, but a large dose
of courage for members of the Idaho Legislature when they vote on revoking
Forest Service: A do-it-yourself refresher course in arithmetic so it
can count to 100, something it demonstrated it could not do when it
exceeded a congressional cap on experimental fee sites by using a single
pass to impose fees on 1,349 separate sites. Flash cards please, Santa.
County Commission Chair MaryAnn Mix: A Top Secret stamp and a locked
vault for public documents she wants to hide away. Santa, do you remember
Maxwell Smart and the Cone of Silence?
Valley Mayor Dave Wilson: Six shiny new buses and a couple of parking
lots for a valley-wide bus system. Also, a book on transforming
experiences to explain what happened to him in Aspen.