Help children cope
with Tuesday’s
acts of terrorism
Tips for parents
and teachers
(The
following information is provided by the
National Association of School Psychologists)
Tuesday’s
tragic acts of terrorism are unprecedented in the American experience.
Children, like many people, may be confused or frightened by the news and
will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents
and school personnel can help children cope first and foremost by
establishing a sense of safety and security. As the nation learns more
about what happened and why, adults can continue to help children work
through their emotions and perhaps even use the process as a learning
experience.
All Adults
Should:
1. Model
calm and control. Children take their emotional cues
from the significant adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or
frightened.
2.
Reassure children that they are safe and so are the other important adults
in their lives. Explain that these buildings were targeted for their
symbolism and that schools, neighborhoods, and regular office buildings
are not at risk.
3.
Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge. Explain that the
government emergency workers, police, fireman, doctors, and even the
military are helping people who are hurt and are working to ensure that no
further tragedies occur.
4. Let
children know that it is okay to feel upset. Explain that all feelings
are okay when a tragedy like this occurs. Let children talk about their
feelings and help put them into perspective. Even anger is okay, but
children may need help and patience from adults to assist them in
expressing these feelings appropriately.
5.
Observe children’s emotional state. Depending on their age, children
may not express their concerns verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite,
and sleep patterns can also indicate a child’s level of grief, anxiety
or discomfort. Children will express their emotions differently. There is
no right or wrong way to feel or express grief.
6. Tell
children the truth. Don’t try to pretend the event has not occurred
or that it is not serious. Children are smart. They will be more worried
if they think you are too afraid to tell them what is happening.
7. Stick
to the facts. Don’t embellish or speculate about what has happened
and what might happen. Don’t dwell on the scale or scope of the tragedy,
particularly with young children.
8. Keep
your explanations developmentally appropriate.
Early
elementary school children need brief, simple information that
should be balanced with reassurances that the daily structures of their
lives will not change.
Upper
elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in
asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done
at their school. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy
.
Upper
middle school and high school students will have strong and
varying opinions about the causes of violence in schools and society. They
will share concrete suggestions about how to make school safer and how to
prevent tragedies in society. They will be more committed to doing
something to help the victims and affected community.
For
all children, encourage them to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. Be
a good listener!
What Parents Can Do
1. Focus
on your children over the next day or so. Tell them you love them and
everything will be okay. Try to help them understand what has happened,
keeping in mind their developmental level.
2. Make
time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not talk to your
children about this incident someone else will. Take some time and
determine what you wish to say.
3. Stay
close to your children. Your physical presence will reassure them and
give you the opportunity to monitor their reaction. Many children will
want actual physical contact. Give plenty of hugs. Let them sit close to
you, and make sure to take extra time at bedtime to cuddle and to reassure
them that they are loved and safe.
4.Limit
the amount of your child’s television viewing of these events. If
they must watch, watch with them for a brief time; then turn the set off.
Don’t sit mesmerized re-watching the same events over and over again.
5.Maintain
a normal routine. To the extent possible stick to your family’s
normal routine for dinner, homework, chores, bedtime, etc., but don’t be
inflexible.
Children
may have a hard time concentrating on schoolwork or falling asleep at
night.
6. Spend
extra time reading or playing quiet games with your children before bed.
These activities are calming, foster a sense of closeness and security,
and reinforce a sense of normalcy. Spend more time tucking them in. Let
them sleep with a light on if they ask for it.
7.
Safeguard your children’s physical health. Stress can take a
physical toll on children as well as adults.
Make sure
your children get appropriate sleep, exercise and
nutrition.
8.
Consider praying or thinking hopeful thoughts for the victims and their
families. It may be a good time to take your children to church or the
synagogue, write a poem, or draw a picture to help your child express
their feelings and feel that they are somehow supporting the victims and
their families.
9. Find
out what resources your school has in place to help children cope.
Most schools are likely to be open and often are a good place for children
to regain a sense of normalcy. Being with their friends and teachers
can help. Schools should
also have a plan for making counseling available to children and adults
who need it.
For
information on helping children and youth with this crisis, contact NASP
at (301) 657-0270 or visit NASP’s Web site at www.nsponline.org
NASP
represents 22,000 school psychologists and related professionals
throughout the United and abroad. NASP’s mission is to promote
educationally and psychologically healthy environments for all children
and youth by implementing research-based, effective programs that prevent
problems, enhance independence and promote optimal learning. This is
accomplished through state-of-the-art research and training, advocacy,
ongoing program evaluation, and
caring professional service.
National
Association of School Psychologists,
4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814,
(301) 657-0270, Fax (301) 657-0275
see also:
www.parenting.com
and
www.helping.org