We know, Santa, that youve been making your list and checking it
twice. We know were late with our requests, but we cant do anything without a
deadline staring us in the face. We know the Reindeer Express will have difficulty
wrapping and delivering on time, but we also know anything is possible for you and your
We have racked our brains, made a dozen lists and have finally come up
with a few requests for some special people for whom its really difficult to shop.
We dont want anyone to be left out of the big doings this last
Christmas of the century.
Heres our list for you. Dont worry if the gifts are a day
or two latethese folks wont mindreally.
For the Idaho Dept. of Transportation: Some scale-sized drawings of a
proposed 5-lane highway through the Wood River Valley.
For the Blaine County Commissioners: A state-of-the-art computer system
that accepts voice input and commands so they can send notices of public meetings in time
for newspaper publication to let people know what theyre up to. When you deliver it,
Santa, please take away the papyrus scrolls, the quill pens and the pine pitch they use to
tack the scrolls on the courthouse door as "public notice."
For the Hailey City Council: An olive branch to use to renew its
friendship with its closest neighbor, Bellevue.
For the Bellevue City Council: A pair of boxing gloves and lessons from
the Muhammad Ali school of boxingjust in case Hailey doesnt drop its bully
For the Blaine County Recreation District: Street hockey, street soccer
and stick ball equipment, a new sprinkler and a drive-thru teen center to make up for all
the stuff it didnt get in its bond issue.
For St. Lukes Hospital: A dose of amnesia so it will forget the
lights it has insisted on for its signature cross on its new facility.
For the Ketchum City Council: An inflatable wading pool with water
piped in from Guyer Hot Springs.
For the Sun Valley Ketchum Chamber of Commerce: A big belly laugh and
the good sense to use it when critics say the valley doesnt need tourism any more.
For Sun Valley City Council Members: A scale model of the universe, a
globe of the planet, a map of the continent, a map of Idaho, and a map of the Wood River
Valleyfor reference when they act like theyre living on another planet.
For the Blaine County Housing Authority: A custom Monopoly game with an
"affordable housing" card and instructions on how to play the game.
For Idahos senators and Congressmen: Enrollment in a class called
"The 20th Century 101" so they can see what they missed.
For the Blue Ribbon Coalitionadvocates for off-road motorized
vehicles: A guided cross-country ski trip.
For the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the Army Corps of Engineers,
the Northwest Power Planning Council, the Port of Lewiston and Idaho Gov. Dirk Kempthorne:
Stuffed salmon for their offices to remind them of what theyre killing with every
delay in implementing a species recovery program.
Santa, we know weve left out a few people, but we know you and
the elves will come up with some special gifts for them, too.
Happy Holidays, Santa. Well have the hot cocoa waiting.