10. Camp with friends and use their passes to start a camp fire in the
sodden backcountry.
9. Repel mosquitoes and horseflies by letting it swing from a chain
around your neck.
8. Wallpaper the guest bedroom to discourage unwanted guests.
7. Tear off and drop little pieces as you hike so, like Hansel and
Gretel, you may find your way back.
6. Use it as an official pass to get into expensive local events.
5. Use it in electronic security gates to give yourself a self-guided
tour of local mansions.
4. Add it to your best spinner and troll for sockeye salmon.
3. Tape it to sunglasses and use it as a visor.
2. Collect enough and build a berm. See if anyone notices.
1. Check the numbers on it and convince the Lottery Commission you won
the big one.
Use it to clean the frost off your windshield this summer.
Use it to scrape the bugs off the grill of your car.
Use it as an exfoliant with an avocado facial for a cheap at-home spa
treatment.
Become a nerds nerd with a laminated goldenrod pocket protector.
Stick it in the a: drive of your worst enemys computer. Let him
figure it out.
Put it on the dogs collar so you can spot Fido in the dark.
Write your name on the back, take it to dinner parties and use it as a
place card.
Tear it up in little pieces and use it as confetti at the Fourth of
July parade.
If stranded in the woods without food, eat it.
Give it to an illegal alien and claim theyve changed the color of
the green cards.
Write a message on it, put it in a bottle, throw it in the river, see
who replies.
Keep it for school and use it as a hall pass.
Take it to a shoe store and try to order shoes to match.
Use it as a cocktail napkin to hold the cold beer you drink to try to
forget about another loss of freedom on the Fourth of July.